A Beautiful Sight, We’re Happy Tonight…

This is my first blog post of the New Year, how refreshing…

2013 has already been too busy and unfortunately I haven’t had time to sit down a write a Blog post. However, now on a Friday night, the first quiet Friday night, I find myself sitting and writing because after all, that’s what I love to do. I’ve always enjoyed writing, I’ve never been great at it but that doesn’t matter because whatever I write falls off my fingers (such as rolls of the tongue, but nowadays it’s all keyboard isn’t it Darling?) and onto the keyboard and suddenly I have a paragraph. I don’t think it happens with everyone but I’ve never noticed really as when you are able to do something, you think it’s normal, don’t you? Take singing for example, if you could sing (which I can’t) until someone tells you you’re brilliant, you’d never think you were any different. But that my friends is what I call life as something is never something until someone says it is.

How confusing…

I mean, a table was never a table until someone said “Can you put that glass on the table for me?” “The what?” “The table of course, that piece of wood over there” … It’s funny isn’t it really. I mean for all we know, there could be another world out there where up is down and happy is sad and where new things are still happening, like this world really, but, opposite. This week my pals and I have been discussing how amazing things are and how quickly things can make a change and grow. Ten years ago my job, Social Media Assistant, would never have existed and my job profile would probably have been laughable. Now, it’s one of the most sought after jobs in the industry and something some people would love to do everyday. That was me last year, when I started this blog. I started this blog because I loved to write, wanted to vent and have somewhere where whatever you said, it was interesting. Six months later, I’m still blogging but now I have a job I love, a job I probably never would of had if I hadn’t of put myself out there.

How funny…

Over Christmas I posted about “All those happy faces” and as predicted there they were, Christmas Day, smiles all round. It was amazing, incredible and made me feel good again. I’d been feeling low leading to Christmas, I needed a break. My first three months at work were hard, a lot to take in and completely different to what I was used to at University. But it’s been great, as I was saying to someone today, the only way is up and I’m so excited for that to happen. The best thing I’ve done the last three months is learnt to take criticism and not to take it personally and my gosh has it helped me progress. As I finished work for Christmas, a weight was lifted off my shoulders and after three months I could relax, turn off my emails and not worry about that inevitable 7am wake up call. It was great, two weeks of getting up at 10am and slowly making my way into normal clothes by 3pm, what a life. It was good, but I couldn’t do it forever, I need the change, I need the challenge and I need something to work towards in my life.

I now turn to the people in the picture, those that make my days incredible and my nights even better. This year we spent New Year’s in St. Ives, Cornwall, for the first time since I was 16. I was worried as I was so excited and I thought that back in my younger days I may have remembered it differently. Well, let me tell you, I did. I remembered it completely differently as it was better than I remembered. Waking up at 10am, getting dressed and just walking, anywhere and everywhere and then stopping for a Cornish Rattler to freshen up and walk some more. It was amazing, that amazing my boyfriend and I are going back down on the 1st February for my 22nd (O NO!) birthday, less than a month since we were last there. In that picture up there we’re dressed as penguins as on New Year’s normal clothes is a no no. Walking down the street listening to “Smile and Wave boys, smile and wave” and “OMG look its Penguins!” was incredible, we felt like superstars! The night was amazing, the days after were amazing and I hope to have the same experience when hopefully, we go back next year (as chickens maybe?).

I now refer to the title of this post. It’s from the popular Christmas song “Winter Wonderland” but I feel now more than ever it is relevant. I know it can be seen as bad luck to think and talk and sing about Christmas but I realised I’ve had a Christmas Card up in my bedroom for 2 years now and I think I’m doing pretty well out of it. On 31st December 2012 at 11:59:50 I was counting down to the last time I will ever see 2012, and all I could think about was WOW, what a year. I looked up as the clock struck Midnight and there it went, 2012 was gone, 2013 was here. Was I disappointed? No. I was happy and incredibly excited! What a beautiful sight.

I don’t know if I’ll ever beat 2012, but who cares, I’m going to try and do it every year until the day I die because as I said before, something is never something until someone says it is.

All Those Happy Faces!

So it’s Christmas tomorrow… Where did that come from? Somehow this year it’s snuck up on me. I have all my presents bought and wrapped but its just got here, suddenly with no warning.

No warning I hear you say, it’s plastered everywhere I hear you say, but when your at work its hard to find the Christmas spirit and hard to see the decorations or hear the songs. Today was different, today I finally finished my Christmas shopping after a long two weeks of thinking shall I, shan’t I! Well I can tell you I bought everything, spent a lot and it will all be worth it to see those happy faces!

The presents are all sitting under the tree at this moment, ready to be put into their respective piles and ready to be ripped open in the morning.

I can’t wait, I can’t contain my excitement. I have that weird feeling in my stomach that almost feels like worry, but I know it’s not, it’s excitement, can’t waited-ness and warmth.

I’m so mushy, I love the look on people’s faces when they open their presents and how grateful they are for the thought that has gone into them. That my friends is why I’m not only excited for tomorrow but for the 27th which is when my boyfriend gets back from his parents and we have Christmas Day take 2.

I’ll let you know how it goes but I am sure that there are going to be many happy faces tomorrow and on the 27th and that’s why I, truly do, wish it could be Christmas everyday!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Kiss the Magic Card…

It’s official! I’ve started Christmas shopping… yes it’s true, last week I came to the realisation that it’s less than 3 weeks till Christmas and I should probably start buying presents as I have to have time to buy, wrap and give; but I suppose that’s everybody’s aim really. After two days of pushing and shoving in shops, I realised that this year would be different… this year I would do all of my Christmas shopping on-line … and that, Ladies and Gents, is exactly what I’ve done. I was reluctant at first as I sat in amazement at how quickly I managed to do things.. one present here, one present there and before I knew it, I’d spend £200… but it’s easy to do really isn’t it and ultimately it’s like what Helen Flanagan said on “I’m a celebrity” … You’ve just got to kiss the magic card and hope that the funds will never run out.

They will eventually of course, the funds will eventually run out, but for that one second when your clicking away on that “proceed to checkout” box, you can feel like the princess you are inside and the millionaire you wish you were. It’s funny isn’t it, we all want to be millionaires, celebrities and people with loads of money but I get the feeling that if I had all the money in the world, I wouldn’t know how to spend it, who to spend it on and whether to save it or not. University changed me… before I went I knew how to spend. I could go out and spend hundreds on myself and not feel guilty, not even one bit. But now I can’t, I feel bad going out for a coffee or buying the newest Cosmopolitan… so what happened? Was it the constant lack of money and fear of no money at all or is it now that I’m earning a proper wage, I want to save all that I can?

Whatever happened I’ve changed and now, unless it’s a special occasion I never “kiss the magic card and hope!” I’m just sensible with money I suppose, I don’t splash out when frankly there’s no need and I guess I just don’t take money for granted. So I suppose there’s a lesson to be learnt from Uni, one that will live with me for a long time…

Don’t spend your money on the things you want, because tomorrow you won’t have it for the things you need.

Expect the Unexpected!

This week I’ve been thinking that many aspects of life are confusing. When considering life, the saying goes the best things in life are free however as you grow older you feel that this is completely wrong as nowadays, nothing in life is free. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, they mean love, happiness and all things lardy dar, but as we all know, without money, happiness is a faraway dream.

I know you may think I’m wrong and that you can be happy without money, but stop and take a think about what you did over the weekend… I know what I did; I drove to the shops in my car which makes me happy, I went shopping for Christmas presents to make my family happy and I paid my bills (which makes the taxman happy!) So when you step back away from it all, it seems hard to think that a person without money would ever be happy.

However, two years ago I found out that sometimes, even money can’t make you happy. Whatever happened to me in that two years, it proved to me that nothing tangible can make you happy and even if you have everything you want in the world, you still might not be happy.

So I think what I’m trying to say is rather contradictory really and really that’s as confusing as it gets. You’ll never be happy without money and sometimes your not even happy with it.

So whatever happens you’ve just got to get on with it, suck it up and remember that whoever you are, wherever you are, you have to just keep going as happiness will come, just when it feels like it, and probably when you least expect it.

So, as another saying goes, expect the unexpected, but don’t, as the unexpected has probably already happened anyway and expected probably never will…

Confused yet?

And I’m Feeling Good…

So after (a very quick) six months, I have finally graduated! It’s unreal really, that after all this time it’s now over. I mean, I thought that university would go on forever, and that that final day would never come. So when I was walking across to the Dean in front of my lecturers, I felt slightly disheartened that this journey had come to an end and that another Era and part of my life was ending.

A few months back I told you how I had finished my previous job and how that was the end of my first era. What I didn’t realise was that my first era had already ended in June but it hadn’t hit me until now. I was at Coventry University for three years, I had so many ups and so many many downs but it was one of the best experiences of my life. I learnt so much, I grew as a person and most importantly I proved to myself finally that I can always do whatever I set out to achieve. If someone would have said to me three years ago that I would have a first class honours degree and a great job alongside it, I would never have believed them, not in a million years.

But you don’t do you… It’s always a “Oh don’t be silly” or a “I wish” but never a “I know that it’ll happen to me.” I knew that when I finished University I would try my best to get a job and be the best that I could be at everything, but I never thought that it would happen this quickly, or that it would feel this good.

On Thursday I felt good. Walking up to get my certificate was the best moment of my life and the proudest I have ever been. I didn’t cry as it wasn’t that kind of moment, but if I had of, it would of been happy tears. The day made me reminisce over the times I had at uni and how it changed my life completely. I lost friends, made friends and (without the risk of sounding completely soppy) found the love of my life. To share the experience with all of them was an honour and I miss everyday like I will never see them again.

As much as I remember the good times, I remember the bad times just as much. The hard work, the tears and (what I don’t talk about very often) my depression. Yes, even though no one would think it now, in my second year of uni I suffered from depression. Apparently it’s pretty common, apparently many students go through the same. Maybe, maybe not but what I do know is that it changed me as a person and I’ll never get back the person I used to be. I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing but I know that I am happier now than I have ever been.

So I leave you with an interesting thought…

Sometimes, in order to move forward, we must first go back

And in my opinion, that picture at the top, certainly proves that!

You’ve Got to Think Big to Be Big!

It’s been a bad week this week, slow, tiring and busy busy busy. I mean, realistically, it’s not been that bad but as it comes to Sunday I think to myself I could do with just one more day to recover. I was told that some weeks I won’t have enough time to do everything, this week was one of those weeks and as I go into Monday, I know there’s a few things I need to pick up from last week. However, next week things will be different, as not only will it be quick it will be extremely busy and it’s something I’ve been looking forward to…

Yes, next week will be different, next week I can finally call myself a Graduate, as next week it’s finally, after six months, my Graduation! I’m going to put on my robes and grab that scroll and walk to collect my certificate which will mean I’ve finally done it, finally graduated and finally I don’t have to worry about my grade being just a dream! Because I do you know, worry about it all being a dream. I mean I was sat in Chicago experiencing the best holiday of my lifetime and being told that I’d not only passed my degree but that I’d got the best grade I could get. It’s ridiculous, for the first time in my life I felt proud to be me and couldn’t wait to tell everyone how well I’d done! That moment when I found out was the best moment of my life, it was incredible, overwhelming and something I wouldn’t replace with anything, ever. I burst into tears and an amazing amount of relief came over me and after three years I felt that it was all worth it. The heartache, the depression, the highs and the lows were all worth it and here I am six months on about to live that feeling once again.

I will cry, I know it. I’m so proud that I won’t be able to control myself, as again the relief will just take over and I will melt into the floor right in front of a whole crowd of people. So I’ll have to be strong, control myself and remember that this is a happy moment and that smiling is the way to go. It will never work, which is great and I know one thing… I’ll have to wear waterproof mascara! So as I start the week as an Undergraduate I’ll end it as a Graduate and not only a Graduate but a Graduate with a job. I’m so lucky; so incredibly lucky to have gained these opportunities by working so hard and hopefully my luck will continue.

There’s so much I want to do in life, so much I want to see and experience. I want to be big, I want to make it and I want to do as much as I can! Oasis speak words of wisdom I think (I don’t know whether I’m just tired and listening to them too early in the morning) and as the song Live Forever goes I want to live I don’t want to die and so I’m going to give it my all, always.

But if things don’t go as planned, Oasis have that covered too…

Maybe I will never be, all the things that I want to be, but now is not the time to cry, now’s the time to find out why…

And so I will. As the famous saying goes you’ve got to think big to be big and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

The Wonderful World of Unknown.

Each week I try to keep my posts interesting, not too deep and something worth reading when you are left staring at the front of your phone thinking, what can I do now… That’s what I do you see, I check Facebook, Twitter, BBC news and then I’m lost, into a sort of loneliness which means there is nothing left to know. That’s what social networking is, something to fill that gap of loneliness and to make you aware that your not the only one out there sitting and staring at a blank screen.

I, unlike most people, love Social Media! It’s my job and there isn’t a better one out there for me. I don’t know whether I’m nosey or interested in other people’s lives and to some extent hopeful that when someone posts a status or a tweet their life isn’t as good as mine. Because that’s all Social Media is, a show off. Somewhere you can say what your doing, where you are and who your with for the sake of it and know that you won’t be judged as the person who would be a judge is probably doing it too.

Consequently that’s what I love about it. It’s what I love about people when they say they don’t like it. Of course you like it… Do you like telling stories? Telling your friends what you got hubby for Christmas over a cup of coffee? Everybody does and the only thing lacking about doing it over Social Media is the scary thought of not getting a response and be seen to be talking to yourself because that’s crazy!

The use of your information on Social Media is as open as you want it to be. Yes if you typed my name in Google, the first five things would be all my Social Media sites, but who cares? If you had a business of your own you’d pay endless amounts of money to get your name up there! So relish it, let it takeover and see what happens as as much as you hate or love it its here to stay!

Social Media is the most popular thing to do on the Internet and therefore as an assumption it is easy to say that those who aren’t involved, will be in a few years. Not because they want to, not because it will become the norm, but because of the fear of losing out and once again having that feeling that your not involved and left talking to yourself in the corner acting crazy.

Social Media is so appealing to me, to tell my family and friends what I’m doing and to show them the pictures from my recent holiday, but for others it can be scary, a minefield and something they can never see themselves getting involved with. I look to the Google Chrome adverts that have recently been on the TV. They ultimately showcase the perks of Social Media. The starting of a business, the warm feeling that daddy has always and will always be there and the hoping that one day that couple will get back together. The pure emotion drives the sense of unknown and makes you want to read on or jump online to see if that story ever comes to an end.

Social Media has so many outlets and so many different reasons for being popular. I invite you to give one a go purely just because if you don’t now, you might next week as your friend will say they’re on it. I mean of course if your reading this blog your half way there so pull up a pew fill out that personal information and dive into the wonderful world of the unknown.

Come on, we’re waiting for you..

Tomorrow’s a new day!

It’s that time of the week again, the end of the weekend. As much as you get the Friday feeling at the end of the week, I get the Sunday feeling at the end of the weekend. It’s pretty much on-going really, the feeling of dread that that 6am start is coming so fast and there is no way to stop it. The only saving grace I have I suppose is the fact that my job is such a great one. This weekend’s been quick, really quick. I can’t remember what I’ve done and whether I did what I think I did, this weekend or last weekend. It all starts to merge into one with no way of distinguishing itself unless something major happens. Of course this weekend was Bonfire weekend and as much as we had a great night, the tiredness took over once again and I couldn’t wait to get in my gorgeous comfy bed with my “sleep” pillow.

This week went unusually slow yet I did a lot, got loads done and didn’t really feel too tired at the end of it. This week I went on my first business trip which was amazing but overwhelming at where I had come in the last few months and how much my life had changed. Six months ago I was sat in my University house watching This Morning, Loose Women and Pointless from 9 till 5 waiting for the days to just pass by. Now, although slightly similar, I get up in the dark, get home in the dark but much differently my days are full of things to do.

So tomorrow’s a new day, a new week and the chance to do something different. I always think that everyday counts as a second chance as you can decide to do the same again, or do something different, better and something you’ve never done before. Like I said last week and I’ll say for the rest of my life, I want to do it all and so I will try my best to treat every day differently! It seems hard to promise that as there are many things in my life that are part of a routine but if I do at least one thing differently, I would’ve already met my goal.

So I offer you the chance to join me, do something different every day and see if it changes your life or makes you happier in anyway. As if you do and it doesn’t change you, what have you lost? Nothing, you’ve gained a new experience, a bit of variation and another thing to tick off your bucket list!

Fancy it?

Camera, Set, Action!

This week has been a week for action. Everyday this week I have been rushed off my feet with my new job and I couldn’t be happier. Some may say I’m a workaholic, I’d just say they didn’t enjoy working. I suppose it’s not that I enjoy working as I love coming home to my boyfriend and parents for an evening of rubbish TV as much as the next person, it’s just, why do something every day of the week if you end up hating it and yourself.

I live by the motto life is short, because it is! 10 years ago I was 11, starting my high school days and now I’m here, I’ve finished College, University and I’m now in my first big girls job! When I look back all those years so much has happened, I’ve lost friends, gained friends and had a few loves along the way. So now when I look at myself and feel how happy I am I realise that what makes me happy (I’m not sure if its the same for everyone) is to love every part of my life. Some people like to moan, some people like sadness, but I can’t be dealing with that. Why would you want to cry until your sobbing when you can laugh until your crying! Yes I believe that life is short, but I don’t think I’d want it any other way. Nothing else would push me, motivate me to try and make the most of myself. I always think ‘I want to do everything’ and I try my hardest to do it.

When you look at the phrase life is short, it’s weird because I’ve never heard anyone say that life is too slow. However, when your sat at your desk at work waiting for the hours to click by,
I do believe that hours can feel like days. I again experienced that Friday feeling and it actually drove me through the week… ‘On Saturday I get to wear leggings and be comfy’ is all I kept thinking and here I am on Saturday wearing leggings! It’s great when things are fulfilled, like when you do something good at work, or you surprise someone and they get that gorgeous look on their face which then doesn’t require a thank you.

This week has been a week of action, I completed my first week of tasks at work, made a few mistakes (but who doesn’t), I went to the gym the allotted numbers of times I wanted to and I ate healthily all through the week. Obviously these tasks and my personal goals are small, tiny bits of action which to the next person will never get noticed but to me they’re massive! Like Mount Everest really. But again where the motto comes in is here, life is short so why be disappointed when you didn’t do the things you wanted to do, you’ve got to revel in the moment and make sure that even if you don’t have an action packed week you admire the hours and days and what you did in them because they’re never coming back and all you can do is look ahead for more!

So do, look ahead for more and take action. Take every chance you can, walk over hot coals, do a bungee jump but no matter what happens make sure you climb your Everest’s however big or small.

So, you ready?

Camera, Set, Action!

Wrote For Luck

So apparently I deleted my last blog post… Oops! So unusually I will blog now to fill the gap just in case you missed it. I can’t quite remember what I wrote but what I do know is that it was about my new job. On Monday 8th October I started my new job and can I just tell you… it’s amazing! It’s no secret how much I’m enjoying it… my bosses know, my friends know and more importantly my parents are fully aware as they keep giving me the same eye rolling look whenever I talk about it. So as much as they [clearly] hate me talking (and talking, and talking and talking) I’m going to carry on and tell my new crowd!

So apart from the obvious “the people are great, the office is great” spiel, not only do I love all of those things but I also LOVE the job. It’s what I love to do, it’s what I’ve wanted to do forever and I’m so glad I worked my hardest to get here! I know its only the start and things may change but for now I’m loving it and I’m going to try to keep it that way. Six months ago to the day I was working hard to get my dissertation in and make sure that I had an answer to my all important key question. “The Existence of Loyalty: A Study into the Loyalty Patterns of Consumers in the Telecommunication Market” – My whole life for eight months was focused around one topic and now as I sit doing bits and bobs for the new day tomorrow, I think to myself how important that was not only for my degree but also the confidence and self-worth I gained from completing it. There have been many things in my life which last week I told you were the reason… a type of fate which has led me to this day. I think they’re still going and I notice them all the time.

Three months ago I got back from the biggest and greatest journey I have had in all my life. The sights I saw and the things I experienced will be with me wherever I go. That week I got back was one of the worst weeks of my life. When I look back to all the tears and sadness its overwhelming but refreshing to know that where I am now I feel like I belong and back then was just stress and sadness that I put onto myself for stupid reasons. But it is stressful finding a job, being let out of University with nowhere to turn and nothing to do. Some may say “grow up” “stop being stupid” but as much as that may be the right thing to do, it doesn’t feel any better.

Today I got told that The Reason I got this job wasn’t luck and I know that because not only did I continue to try hard when I was failing, but I also didn’t let myself get to the stage of being stupid. Some people say that it is luck and that I was “lucky” to find a job in the current climate. They might be right that in the current climate the stakes are higher to gain a job but they are wrong to say I was lucky. I have worked every weekend (apart from holidays) since I was 16, all through University and made many friends along the way. Not only did I meet friends but I gained experience, found myself and decided the direction I wanted to take in my career. I’ve made mistakes, haven’t we all, but not only does that prove I’m not lucky but it proves I’m grown up too.

As I sit and ponder how hard I’ve worked for the last 5 (nearly 6) years I remind myself that this is only the beginning. In 2070, I’ll still be working and wow does that thought scare me. However, I feel that if the rest of my working days are as fun, enjoyable and exciting as they are now then that date is coming too soon. As mentioned in previous posts I believe that most songs fit perfectly into people’s lifestyles. I look to Happy Mondays (you can see how I was feeling this week) to see whether I’m right and I have devised this:

I need to Step On, Do It Better and try not to forget about Sunshine and Love. But more importantly, whatever and whenever something happens I must remember I am not Wrote For Luck.